April is a bittersweet month for me. Bitter because of the memories from eleven years ago. (How can it have been that long ago?) And sweet because it’s when the Iowa landscape opens its eyes, takes a slow look around, stretches luxuriantly, and begins to wake from a long, hard winter slumber. It always feels good to know that there will be sunlight in the evenings and while it may not be warm out today, it will be soon. Soon enough to manage, anyhow.
Lilacs are my favorite flower. The scent they give off is my favorite smell (ok, full disclosure: it’s really in a dead heat with coffee). The light purple ones are my very favorite color. And yet, lilacs will always remind me of the sadness of losing our baby. Normally they are in bloom in mid to late April, which coincides with the anniversary of Joseph’s stillbirth. So I almost always associate that scent, their heady, intoxicating smell, with memories of what happened to our family back then. This year they are blooming a full two weeks ahead of schedule because it’s been a warm and early spring.
Tonight I think I will cut the blooms off of the lilac bush The Husband gave me for Mother’s Day several years ago and place them in a vase next to my bed. They will sit directly below the decorative frame on my wall that holds an impossibly tiny pair of footprints.
April is also a fun month. If you’re into jokes. Bumblebee is a jokester. She was eager to test out her April Fools’ Day tricks on the family. I have to announce with smug satisfaction that I FINALLY didn’t get hit with the sink sprayer this year. My kids have gotten me with that trick for a few years in a row now. Bumblebee had a rather interesting April Fools’ Day trick up her sleeve, though.
She told me that she thought I should probably change Goblin – that she smelled stinky. Hmmm… Something was up, because she wasn’t stinky, but I figured I’d go along with it. Turns out that Bumblebee thought it would be great fun to put brown sugar into Goblin’s diaper. Why? Maybe to simulate a poopy diaper. Maybe not. Who knows, really. What she didn’t take into account was that a really wiggly baby sweats a little, and the combination of sweat and pee turned the sugar into a sort of syrup. Which was fun to clean up right before we left for Mass. But hey – it was funny, and I have no doubt that Bumblebee’s tricks will become cleverer over the years. She has a knack for that sort of thing.
In other news, our house is in exciting planning mode. We’re full steam ahead graduation and trip central these days. Planning, planning, planning for Hollywood’s big day, and our trip to Italy.