Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Cancer Chronicles, Part 7

The cancer has spread even more. It's now also in her brain, her shoulder and her leg. She is losing her vision and needs help walking now. I am horrified at how quickly this is happening. It seems as though an explosion has gone off inside of her. And I suppose one has. An explosion of toxic, deadly cells that are shutting her body down one organ at a time.

Her spirits go from being her cheerful, bubbly self, to being down and despondent. I don't know how to help her, but I'm trying.

Here she is with her granddaughter last week:
*photo of MJ and H:
100_3619


And again, with my dad:

100_3620

Dad seems to have settled into a routine and is accepting the situation. It's hard on him; my dad doesn't do well with normal stresses of life, let alone this huge upending of his routine. But he's getting by. After she passes will be a different story.

My aunt and uncle are visiting them this week, so Dad and MJ are in good hands. MJ has a wish to take a hot air balloon ride with my dad. She has talked about this dream since before they got married. It's scheduled for next week. I hope it goes well and that she enjoys herself.

In the car this morning, Bumblebee asked me when Grandpa and Grandma Mary Jane will be coming back to Iowa. I told her that it would be a while. I was surprised that she didn't know that MJ is dying. I hadn't specifically told her that, but she's been present when we've talked about it so much lately.

I explained that Grandma MJ is very sick, and that she probably won't be coming back to Iowa with Grandpa. I told her that she had cancer and it was spreading in many parts of her body.

"Just like Bob?" she asked. Bob was The Husband's uncle who passed away two years ago.

"Yes. Just like Bob." I told her.

She began to cry. Seeing her cry made a lump form in my throat. I had to take deep breaths to keep it under control.

I guess this is hard on all of us...

4 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

Hate to here things are going down hill so quickly.

Dan said...

A hard experience for all. It brings back memories of dad's journey through the ravages of cancer to the end. Here's hoping she can find peace along the way.

The Casual Perfectionist said...

I'm so sorry, Monica. P.S. I'm crying for you. Deep breaths didn't stop the tears. :(

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

I'm so sorry for Bumblebee and all of you.
It's a blessing that you are having the chance to say your "I love you" and "goodbyes".