I am sitting in the most coma-inducing meeting ever. 75 people are gathered in a freezing conference room reviewing a project plan that has over 850 tasks on it. Line by line, we are going through the tasks for a giant system of record conversion project we’re in the middle of.
You know… I do like my job at Giant Ass Bank. Usually. I am comfortable here. I know my ‘stuff’. I’m respected. And, most of all, I have the flexibility in my position to come and go as needed in order to have a happy, balanced home life. There’s a lot to be said for that.
But at the end of the day, it isn’t what I pictured myself doing. Bumblebee swears she’s going to be an ‘animal doctor’ when she grows up. The Boy wants to live in a lake house and become a famous author. Hollywood wants to be a neurologist. Such ambitious dreams, each of which provides a service that is useful to society. They help people! Why didn’t any of them say they wanted to be an e-Business Consultant? And really, what in the name of Jimmy is an e-Business Consultant anyway!??
I can tell you than an eBC is a very small cog in a giant operation. If I were to disappear, my department would lurch and hitch for a split second before reconfiguring itself to work without me. I provide internet applications for customers so they can “make no payments until 2015 on your brand new living room set!” It’s not meaningful work. I don’t go home all warm and fuzzy, feeling like I’ve contributed to the good of society.
But I do go home when I want to. And I do go home relatively happy and comfortable from the salary that Giant Ass Bank gives me. If I need to be home with my kids for a school event or a sore throat, I can be without questions.
The manager of my team has a great title. She’s a VP and deserves that title more than anyone I know of. She recently took a position in another area of the company (I’m so sad!). She asked me if I was going to apply for her position, and even though I think I’d be good at her job, if I had the opportunity to give it my all, I declined. As much as I’d like to have a powerful position like hers, I know that the travel and added stress of her job wouldn’t fit with my lifestyle right now. I’m good at my current job. In the tiny world that is my department, I’m respected for doing what I do here. The time will come when I can climb that corporate ladder if I decide I want to. But it’s just not that time yet.
So even though I didn’t dream of becoming an eBusiness Consultant when I grew up, I did dream of being a parent – and I knew that if God gave me the chance to be a mom, I was going to be a good one. The choices I’m making in my career are hopefully helping me with that dream. So now that we’re on line number 591 of our project plan discussion I’ll keep that thought in mind.
And of course, the thoughts of my upcoming vacation aren’t far behind. (4 more days!!)