Monday, March 30, 2009

Mondays Blow

I’d like to think I’m a pretty put together gal – you know, the one who has it all. A good job, great husband, amazing kids, clean house, exciting social life. (BWAHA! Ok, those last two are funny.) But really, while my family rocks, my organizational and time management skills can be lacking, and even though I might fool someone out there, I’m not very suave about juggling everything.

This morning, my work phone rings. It’s an outside caller, so I ignore it. (Don’t judge me! You know that’s why they invented voice mail.)

If it’s a client, they’ll leave me a message and I can mentally prepare myself before I call them back, I think. If it’s anyone else, they’ll either leave me a message or call my cell phone.

My cell phone rings. I pick it up. “Hi Monica, it’s SchoolSecretary from the elementary school. Is Bumblebee ill today?”

“Um, n-n-no…” I stammer, confused. My brain does a (thankfully silent) What’s she talking about, Willis?

Bumblebee was supposed to have today off because of a Kindergarten round-up meeting for next year’s incoming class. “Isn’t she supposed to not have school today?” I say, hoping that SchoolSecretary is who messed this one up, but knowing that the odds were against it.

“No. That’s Wednesday.” SchoolSecretary says.

Oh SHIT. Bumblebee is playing happily at the babysitter’s. I’m sitting at my desk 40 minutes away.

So I run her up to the school. Today is her day to bring snacks. At least I'd already purchased the chemical miracle that is crackers and cheese dip, but Bumblebee is worried that we won’t get there in time for snack. Which I guess is at 10:15 a.m. What the heck? They eat lunch at 11:30… who needs a snack an hour before lunch? I guess if you have to control a room of eighteen 5 and 6 year olds, you feed them often to keep them from attacking you.

I tell Bumblebee that we’re hurrying as fast as we can. And it’s true – I’m doing 70 in a 55 MPH zone. She eyes the odometer and tells me, “that thingy can point to a higher number, MOM.” Indeed. But I haven’t had a speeding ticket in 10 years. I don’t need one now (knock on wood.)

Of course the wind is blowing a thousand miles per hour so that when I open the car door in front of the school, some papers that I don’t know if I need or not fly out and I have to scramble around the parking lot to retrieve them. One is lost forever. I hope it’s not the deed to my house or something important. My back is sore, so that chasing and scrambling is making me utter swear words that I hope nobody can hear. Thank God the kids are out for recess on the other side of the building. I have to grip Bumblebee’s hand while holding on to her snack pail and backpack in the windstorm. I swear that wind could’ve picked my 35 pound peanut up and blown her a county away!

Sigh. So I drop her off and return to work looking disheveled and stressed out. Nothing like wasting an hour and a half because I didn’t get the schedule right.

Story of my life.

1 comment:

Swishy said...

I'm sorry ... but oh, my gosh, I am laughing. This is one of the best posts you have ever written, SO funny!! Glad it all worked out :)