Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Pokemon Love and a Sore Rear End

(Hmmm... there are so many ways one could interpret that title. I'm a bit scared to see what my keyword searches will be for this one.)

I had a productive Labor Day weekend, though it wasn’t exactly fun. Each year, The Husband spends a weekend with some hometown friends. It's his escape from reality weekend. They go to a football game and do what men do at football games, which is to act all crazy and drink a lot. This was his weekend to do that. I opted to stay home - not that I’m actually issued an invitation anymore. It’s not a place for respectable women, and I’d rather suffer severe muscle pain than hang out with a bunch of liquored up homies who got their start in this world in a rough southwestern Iowa town. Oh wait! I did suffer severe muscle pain for two days! Because I’m the wonderfully amazing wife that I am, I decided to use up my plan-free weekend to finish a project that The Husband started a few weeks ago.

Have you ever stained a deck before? It’s a lot harder work that it sounds like it’s going to be. I’d say it’s about a 7.5 on a 1-10 pain-in-the-ass-factor scale. We have a very large deck. It has a lot of vertical slats along the railings, and I used a roller to go up and down all four sides of those bad boys. Which means I essentially did about a thousand squat exercises without realizing it. I was more concerned about getting sunburned than being sore – seriously, the thought didn’t occur to me. So when I woke up the next morning with searing pain in my quad, hamstring, and ass muscles, I was quite dismayed. It hurt to sit, it hurt to stand up, and going to the bathroom?!? Yowza! It's a good thing there's a support bar next to my toilet left here from the elderly couple who used to own this house. I needed it for support to get up after tinkling. After I realized how badly it hurt to use the facilities, I actually stopped drinking my normal amounts of coffee and water.

The following day was slightly better, but still painful. So I spent a couple of days in agony. But the deck is done. Don’t you think I should have gotten some flowers or a nice dinner out, or something? (Note to TH: It’s not too late… I hear they have jewelry stores and florists in Nebraska…)

Enough of that… I’ll close today with this little anecdote:

This is what happens when you let a five year old girl play Pokemon cards with her big brother. She picks out two that look like they make a nice couple and holds the cards together, pretending that they’re kissing. It’s like Barbie and Ken in the Corvette, but with Pokemon cards. And you can’t take off the Pokemon’s clothes to make things really interesting.


Travis Erwin said...

I wish my wife would finish some of the crap I've stared while I went off to a football game to get drunk. You rock.

Debbielou said...

Love the title!

Well done you for all the hard work too!

Mom In Scrubs said...

You should get the wife-of-the-month award or something! At least your ass will look better after the pain goes away...for awhile.

Yes I've stained a deck before. It sucks. And it needs done again. Wanna come do mine? Heh heh.

Barbie and Ken for the millenium girl. But it's no fun really if they can't get naked!