Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Thoughtful Tuesday

I haven’t had a good old fashioned rambling post for a while, so here goes…

This morning on the way into daycare, Bumblebee was complaining about being cold. The child is a freak – it was already 70 degrees and humid as hell. All of a sudden, she says, “Momma. I hate when my wiener gets cold.”

"Um, sweetie? You don’t have a wiener."

"Yes I do. It’s where my pee comes out."

"Boys have wieners. They’re actually called penises. You don’t have one."

"I just have a butt then?"

"Well, I like the term bottom better, but sure."

"I’ve looked at it before, mom. Actually..." (and I love hearing the word 'actually' from a 4 year old's mouth. It cracks me up) "I have TWO butts. I mean bottoms."

You can imagine where that conversation led. Nothing makes better early morning conversation than a preschool anatomy lesson.

***

I’m one of those people who sets the alarm earlier than I need to get up and hits the snooze bar a few times. I feel that it eases me into consciousness, rather than having the harsh abruptness of needing to get up when the alarm goes off. The Husband hates it, but I can't help it. I need that transition.

My alarm clock’s snooze feature lasts nine minutes. Why would they pick nine minutes?. It seems like a nice easy ten minute snooze would be better, but no. My alarm clock ripped me off. Nine minutes is a long time, though, when your mind is cranking out psycho dreams. This morning, I had two rather interesting dreams in between the alarms. In the first one, I was getting out of a meeting at work and there were four of us who got on the elevator. The elevator started making funny sounds, and all of a sudden, it started shooting straight up and going really fast. It shot through the roof of my office (Willy Wonka style, except it wasn't glass) and into the sky. In dreamlike fashion, the sky wasn’t downtown Des Moines like it should have been. Instead, it was a wide open prairie. The elevator shot into the sky, hit it's maximum altitude and started to descend. We knew it was going to crash. Conveniently, there were parachutes in the elevator, and I put mine on just in time so that I didn’t die. The End.

THEN… I dreamt that I was on a small airplane and we had to make an emergency landing near the airport. There was a little boy who was playing in the road that we were using as a runway and he didn’t get out of the way in time. I started yelling at the pilot to slow down, and she couldn’t. So I watched as the plane ran over the little boy’s leg and then I saw the boy’s mom running (faster than the plane) with the one legged boy slung over her shoulder and his detached leg under her arm, presumably to take him to the hospital. The End.

What in the WORLD does all of this mean, other than the fact that I’m losing my mind? Holy cow those are weird-ass dreams.

***

I have my annual gynecologist appointment this afternoon. Ugh. I hate that appointment, and I think it sucks that they make you go every year or else they won't give you prescriptions for birth control. That seems like abuse of power to me.

I’m praying that it goes better than last year. If you haven’t read my post about the fiasco that was last year’s visit, you can view it here. Seriously, I’m going to freak out if I’m not in and out of there in an easy half an hour with nothing out of the ordinary to report.

***

Speaking of lady bits...

I have kept up with my running schedule. I’m proud of myself. I usually drag Hollywood along with me, but she was out socializing last night, so I had to run by myself. I did it, though, and it was fine. Except for one part. Our stupid neighbor has three large dogs. He lets them out without a leash and one of them came over to say hello in that special way that dogs do (by sniffing my sweaty hoo-ha). Our neighbor just stood where he was, feebly telling the dog to come to him, but the dog ignored him. So, I walked my dog magnet hoo-ha over to the guy so that he could keep hold of him. I finished my run with no other incidents. Well, unless you call swallowing some gnats an incident. Ick.

***

This weekend I went up to my granparents' farm to help clean up some smoke damage their house incurred from a recent fire. I was glad to see that the fire damage was mostly contained to the bathroom - it could have been so much worse. Their house got struck by lightning and the dryer caught fire. The rest of the house had a nice layer of smoke residue on it, so we spent the day cleaning smoke dust off of a knick knack collection that's been steadily growing in size over the past 60 plus years.

It was nice to see the farm - I haven't been up that way in several years. They have the most beautiful timber behind their house. I should have taken a picture of the rolling hills with gorgeous old hardwood trees. My brothers and I stood staring at it for several minutes, taking in it's beauty. As a kid, we used to take walks in the timber down to the creek and play chicken on the fallen trees that crossed the water. Lots of wonderful memories of that place...

***

Well, I guess that’ll do it for this episode of Thoughtful Tuesday. I really need to get to work, I've procrastinated too long and have quite a lot to do.

10 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

I've always wondered about that nine minute thing as well. I'm also a devote snooze buttoner.

WebGal said...

Man! That was enough content for like 4 or 5 posts! :)

I don't use the snooze anymore. I find it more traumatic to wake after hitting snooze than to just get up. (Oh and my snooze button is only 5 minutes.)

Debbielou said...

I loved this post ! You really made me laugh !!

Swishy said...

I set two alarms, and I smack the snooze button multiple times on both. I guess it sort of defeats the purpose of "just a few more minutes of sleep!!" but I don't care.

Barb said...

I have had "elevator" dreams all my life. In them the elevator is always doing something it wouldn't normally do (going sideways or not stopping where it should). Someone told me recently that it signified that my life (at that point) was "out of control." Sure enough, that's when I usually have them, when my life is particularly crazy and I don't feel I have control. As for the other dream ~ you are on your own there! What in the world did you eat for dinner last night? hee hee

Jenster said...

I love the preschooler conversation! That's priceless.

I always wondered about the 9 minute snoozer, too. Weird. Not as weird as your dreams, though. You may be better off not knowing what they mean.

Congrats on the running. Gnats are protein.

Mama P said...

So I asked Travis and I'm asking you:

INsert cut and paste:

Hey, can I link you from my Good Housekeeping blog? They want me to post 10 sites I like to read. It could be some good exposure for you. Any particular posts you want me to highlite to get you noticed more? I'm nice that way, huh? Let me know via email:BabyCenterAndrea@Yahoo.com

Or comment at my Zoloft Site.

If you don't want to be linked, that's fine, too.

Barrie said...

I think Bumblebee has come up with a great book title: My Two Butts!!

Mom In Scrubs said...

Hey!! I'm back! Canya let everyone know?

Love this post. From a snooze-button addict: I'm so withya. That's when I have my craziest dreams too!! I can't believe my brain can pack such detailed scenarios into 8 minutes. You hit the nail on the head. Transition is what it's all about. People who hop out of bed are probably the same people who jump into a cold pool, or turn the shower on while they're standing in the stream and actually RELISH the cold water hitting them full on before the hot kicks in. Ugh.

We have had the preschool anatomy lesson multiple times. Here's a topic for a musing: why is the word "penis" so much more acceptable than "vagina"? My opinion? Vagina is not really anatomically correct. And vulva rhymes with vulgur. Ha.

MrsTSalazar said...

That was a major (say it "mayyy ja) post! SO much to comment on.

1) My hubby is a snooze fiend too. Makes me nuts. I set two alarms, one for an hour before I need to get up, and the other for 5 minutes before. I suppose its about the same as snooze.

2) I love morning dreams! Was the kids leg gory or just fake looking?

3) good luck on the girl bits prodding!

Tiff