Saturday, April 19, 2008

Seven Years

Joseph... Of course I thought of him today. All week, I have been wearing the angel necklace that The Husband gave me that Mother's Day after he was born/died. (I struggle with how to phrase that. Do I refer to it as the day he was born? Or the day he died? Sometimes I just refer to it as the day we lost him. But that doesn't capture it quite right either...)

Most of his things are buried in the chest in my closet. I don't need them now, like I did while I was still unable to breathe without pain at the thought of him. But I do have one memento that has remained out these seven years. The hospital staff made footprints on paper for us and we framed them and I hung it on our bedroom wall. Below his tiny feet, I wrote this phrase:

"Most people only dream of angels... We held one in our arms."

I stared at those footprints for a long time tonight. For a few moments, I was sad today. But mostly I just sat back and took note of how richly we have gone on living since that day.

8 comments:

Debbielou said...

Thinking of you and sending over a Big hug xx

Jenster said...

Oh Monnik. I can't imagine the pain. I'm so glad you do have such a rich and wonderful life and I'm so glad you share it with us.

Jane said...

Monnik, you're in my thoughts. I have a similar day in January every year.

Your last sentence is very very powerful.

Travis Erwin said...

Very touching post. My sympathies as I can't imagine that kind of pain but it says a lot about you and your family's character top carry on.

Barb said...

Oh man, I can't even imagine this. I guess there are worse things than not being able to get pregnant. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing a very personal moment.

Barrie said...

Hugs. Thinking of you. xo

Prairie Chicken said...

30 years for me. Sometimes I ask her to look after us, and I believe she does.

Mom In Scrubs said...

Wiping tears...I remember it like it was yesterday. I'm sure you do too.

I had never put it together about Jacob and MM. Wow. That's a powerful connection.

Love ya.