Wednesday, March 26, 2008

High Pressure Sales Tactics

How to Unsuccessfully Sell a Gym Membership to a Chubby Thirtysomething Woman:

First of all, let me begin by saying that I am out of shape and willing to pay just about anything for a glimmer of hope that I might shrink the size of my ass sometime soon.

Maybe I was on a Biggest Loser induced mission, I don't really know what possessed me to drag my walking buddy into the gym we walk by every day. I was hoping I could pop in and get a price sheet and mull it over. But no. We had to have an elaborate tour, given to us by someone who has got to be new to sales. After the tour, we had to go into this guy's office, just so I could learn what the membership fees were.

Here are a few of the snippets of the gym visit:

high pressure gym salesman douche-bag: so (he looks me up and down) have you ever been a member of a gym or done an exercise program before?

me: um, yes. I work out regularly. (thanks for thinking I'm a fat ass who doesn't exercise, though.)

HPGSD: So, when were you thinking of moving on this?

me: Soon, I really would like to get into shape. But I need to talk to my husband before I make a decision.

HPGSD: Oh. So your husband does the bills then?

me: (seeing red) Not necessarily, but I think it's considerate of me to discuss a large expenditure with him before I actually make a decision.

Yeah. Won't be going to that gym. Not only was he a condescending prick, but he asked me if I would be using the tanning beds and I said, "No, I'm not really a tanner." Then he tried to push the tanning services to me again later.

Dude, I was an easy target. A few comments like "And over here, miss, you'll find the treadmills..." (you know, 'miss' instead of 'ma'am') and he'd have gotten his commission faster than you can say flattery will get you everywhere.


WebGal said...

OMG. What a prick!

-Your FORMER walking buddy :(

Monnik said...

I know. You have to come back so you can go with me again.

I miss you!!!!

Andrea said...

No way! I'd have probably listed his mistakes for him before I left!

Swishy said...

OK, I bet it was Bally's. They did to me and then called my work for like a MONTH. I joined the Y instead and was quite happy with that, lack of tanning beds notwithstanding :)

Travis Erwin said...

You should know better, Both gyms and salad bars are dens of inequity.

Jenster said...

Obviously he doesn't have the gift of schmooze.

Jen said...

He won't be in that occupation long!! I'm a gym member...meaning I don't actually GO, I just pay so that someday I can hope to go I guess. Sigh.

ANyway, on my own workout program I had lost 60 some pounds (yes, it found me and it brought friends now). At that point I wanted to get a trainer so I could learn NEW things and get hooked up with a program that would KEEP working for me. He looked me up and down (they must teach that in 'I wanna be a trainer and not succeed' school) and asked me what exactly I wanted to accomplish in the most condecending way possible. Jerks...the lot of them.