Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Mr. Nastyass

It has not beaten me. I will not let it win. I swear to all that is good and holy that it will not defeat me. After reading that sentence, I'm worried that it might have turned me into my mother. Egad. Oh no! There it goes again – that’s totally ‘mom’ talk! Somebody stop it, FFS! There. That lovely obscenity disguised as an acronym is all me. Good. I feel better.

Not that turning into my mother would be a bad thing. Really. I’m just all about individuality.

This craptastic flu bug has still got a grip on me. Point for me: I have no fever. Point for the nastyassflu: I still have a cough. Point for me: the headache that I keep waking up with is no longer begging me to drive an ice pick into my temple. Point for nastyassflu: (Wait. I just realized that the term ‘nastyass’ might infer that it was an intestinal bug. Not so.) My throat hurts very much when I swallow until Advil kicks in. Point for me: I can go all day without a nap again. Point for nastyassflu: I keep hawking up these nasty gelatinous nuggets. I started coughing at the baby sitter's house this morning and ended up with a surprise mouthful of this stuff. I wasn’t about to swallow it, so I delicately spat on the ground. That’s when I noticed that my baby sitter’s neighbor was getting something out of her car and she witnessed my ladylike behavior. Neat.

I still think I’m winning this battle. Soon, Mr. Nastyassflu will be nothing but a memory – and the residue left on the shopping cart I used at Target last night. An unseen gift for the next poor soul who uses that cart. Until then, I’m tired, blechy, have no motivation, and am grouchy.

Don’t even get me started on the weather.

Somebody has a birthday today. I’m not saying who. She’s old, though. Bumblebee guessed that she was 45. Which is an overshot by 10 years. No need to hurry up this aging thing.

6 comments:

WebGal said...

Happy Birthday! :)

Travis Erwin said...

Happy Birthday. We are now officially the same age.

Mom In Scrubs said...

Happy Happy Birthday
On This Your Special Day!
Happy Happy Birthday
That's Why We're Here To Say
Oh
Happy Happy Birthday
May All Your Dreams Come True
Happy Happy Birthday
From Hickory Park to You!
Happy Birthday!!!

That's what you get for your birthday, dah-ling. An earworm!

Oh, and the knowledge that you'll always be exactly TWO DAYS OLDER THAN ME!!!

Have a Margarita on me, baby.

Jenster said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She probably overshot because of Mr. Nastyass.

Hope you can at least enjoy some cake.

Andrea said...

Happy Birthday - To You! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday - To You! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday - To Monnnnnnniiiiiiikkkkkkk! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday - To You! *butt shake*

Hope you feel better soon!

Debbielou said...

Happy Birthday !!! You're still a lot younger than me xx