Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Not Sure Where I'm Going With This One...

How can it only be Tuesday? Sheesh!

First order of business, I'm going to create a blogroll one of these days. Once I get it up (ha! I'm easily amused today) just comment if I missed you or you'd like to be added. Or, if you'd like to be removed, that's cool too.

I've been going through a mini depression of sorts. It's more like a funk, but it's odd. The first reason for the blues is the season - I hate winter. It was 5 degrees outside this morning. FIVE DEGREES. Fahrenheit!! Damn my parents for bringing me into this world in a place like Iowa. Why couldn't I have been born to parents in Hawaii or somewhere warm and lush? Because I have an emotional attachment to this wasteland that I was born in, I place the blame on my folks. Because of them, I freeze my ass off every November - March. So thanks, Mom and Dad! You can rectify the situation by winning the lottery and moving all of us to Maui, mmkay? (does anyone else think of their, um, sphincter when they see the word 'rectify'? No? Just me, huh? Hmmm. My mind is definitely stuck in fifth grade humorland today.)

Which reminds me of the time that my friend Susan spent the night when we were in fifth grade. My mom was making a chicken and the chicken neck was in the sink. Susan and I saw it and started giggling hysterically, because, well, because a chicken neck looks like the picture on the right. And of course a fifth grader is going to think it resembles something else. Though the curve is rather alarming, don't you think?

Oh my God, I was uploading that image at work and kept looking behind me to make sure nobody was watching what I was doing... Which reminds me of yesterday when my mother in law (of all people!) sent me an email with a Christmas card that was a picture of George and Laura Bush. But the card was from George and Laura's Bush, and well, it showed a picture of Laura's bush, and well, I didn't see that coming and had to scramble REALLY fast to shut it down since my monitor is huge and I sit in a cube farm here at Giant Ass Bank. You'd think you could safely open an email from your mother-in-law, but not always.

I've completely veered off course. I was going to write about my little mini-depression and I got onto the topic of phallic chicken necks and Laura's bush. Sorry about that! I will try and stay on track from now on.

So the second reason for my little funk is that I'm sad because Bumblebee is growing up too quickly. She's just so BIG! All of my kids are big and growing up far too quickly - but it's normal for Hollywood and The Boy - they're so much older than the 'baby' of our family. Since we've decided that she is to be our last child, this is kind of sad. Don't get me wrong, she's still a very affectionate and loving critter, but the snuggly baby hugs and kisses turned into snuggly toddler hugs and kisses, and then to the pre-schooler that she is now. And she's just so grown up! The words she uses, her expressions, her sense of humor (that kid makes me laugh every day!), her affectionate hugs and the everyday rituals we go through. All of that illustrates just how fast she's growing up. And it's sad. Because for a very long time I've been the mom of little kids. And now that is changing...

But it's also good. She'll be a teenager like Hollywood one day. Which will be interesting, to say the least. Those of you who have older kids, did you go through a period of mourning when you realized your youngest was past that certain helpless, needs mommy for everything stage? I can't be the only one thinking about this!

And finally, just a comment that's not related to my blue mood or fifth grade humor. But it is about a fifth grader! (wow - was that a horrible segue or what?!) The Boy is in chess club now. Which is great because he loves it, but chess gives me a headache. I can play it (not well), but I hate that you have to think when you're playing it. Aren't games supposed to be relaxing? I love a good game of scrabble, or anything that has to do with words. My new obsession online is Bookworm Adventures. Yep - geeky. That's me. But chess? Wow - that requires more brain cells. Before chess club, the boy was almost able to beat me in chess. Now that he'll be taught actual strategy, I'm toast. I'll never beat him again.


Jane said...

Rectify. Haha. When I opened this post, I took a glance behind me to make sure nobody could see that picture and wonder. Behind me? A wall. But I looked, you know, just in case.

Do you use a feed reader? Many of the feed readers will generate a blogroll for you, with the links to all of the feeds you read. I use Bloglines, so that whatever I'm subscribed to is automatically updated on my site. I think Google Reader does the same thing.

I'm with you on the funk. Maybe we should meet halfway and wear hawaiian shirts and drink something with umbrellas in it to cheer ourselves up.

Travis Erwin said...

That image makes it easier to see where the term "Choking your chicken" hatched from.

Debbielou said...

Hello! Brilliant post - you've had me in stitches and I'm certainly never going to look at a chicken in the same light again !!!

I know what you mean - my kids are 8 & 11 & my son is almost as tall as my Mum - they come out with some really funny statements sometimes just when you think they are all grown up they remind you that actually they're not.

And Rectify -does it for me too !

Ps - Just to try to cheer you up - It's pouring with rain, freezing cold and we have floods over the whole of the UK at the moment - the crazy thing is we'll probably have a hose pipe ban in the summer ( which will be wet too!) Happy days ! x

Andrea said...

I'm sorry you're in a funk (oops! Almost misspelled that!)... Just think, though - winter solstice is behind us, therefore the days are actually growing LONGER! This thought helps me get through the winter.

Speaking of alarming curves, my college roommate's boyfriend... need I say more than "around corners" or does that about do it? Ah, the crazy college days.

My favorite word game is Text Twist, though I've found another version of it that uses 8 letters.

SUV MAMA said...

You crack me up!

I think Jane has the best solution short of hopping on a plane and actually GOING to Hawaii. Drink enough and maybe you'll feel like you are there...

Rectify. I'll never think of it the same.

The chicken neck was horribly scary looking, but I'll bet you could invent something just like it in rubberized form and sell a ton of them. :)

Barb said...

I can't imagine the winters you must have. I got depressed in NC and that wasn't that cold or that long. You can always come see me in sunny FLA!
I have a funny chicken story for you.. my sister's husband is named "Dick" already funny, right. Well my niece who was about 15 at the time had a friend over for dinner and they were having chicken so my sister asks her husband "Do you want sauce on your chicken dick?" Notice there is not a coma between chicken and dick which is how she said it and the girls both spit soda out of their nose. We still kid about putting sauce on your chicken dick ~ and I didn't even know chickens had those!