Thursday, November 15, 2007

Sins of the Past Coming Back to Haunt Me...

In 13 years and 364 days I have been viewed by my daughter as the following things:

Caregiver/protector - I loved parenting an infant. I miss the days of complete helplessness, that snuggly warm feeling, the gentle thump, thump of a baby's soft spot on your lips as you're kissing their silky head. Hollywood used to lock her big gray eyes with mine as an infant. She seemed so content. (When she wasn't a screaming, collicky mess, that is...)

Teacher - Hollywood wanted to learn everything when she was a toddler. She craved knowledge, asked about a billion questions, and listened intently to my answers. She absorbed these teachings like a little sponge, and looked at me with adoration when I explained why snakes don't have legs.

Playmate - Endless games of Candyland, a thousand tea-parties, Games of hide and seek, Twenty Questions, I Spy, and so on. I loved getting down on the floor with my kids and playing with them. I remember Hollywood's deep, belly laugh when we'd be playing goofy games together. She used to be so amused by my silliness.

Confidant - When Hollywood was in third grade, she had trouble with another girl her age. I remember her eyes welled up with tears, telling me how this little monster, er, I mean girl, would hurt her feelings. I loved hearing about her life, listening to her stories. My heart broke when hers broke, my heart leapt when hers leapt. She trusted me with her secrets, she felt better after telling them to me.

Cheerleader - I love watching my children play in their sports games or events. I adore watching them sing in their chorus concerts. My chest puffs up with pride when I watch Hollywood compete in her activities like Mock Trial and other academic events. When other parents compliment me on how great of a player Hollywood is, I always think back to one of my earliest cheerleader experiences that occurred when she was in Kindergarten. They picked her to narrate the class play about penguins because she was the only kid who could read it clear as a bell, and sound conversational even. I was so proud, I was bursting. I love watching my children do what they love to do. Hollywood used to get a small smile when she'd look out into the stands to see me cheering at a game or an event. Every once in a while she even waved hello at me! She liked having me there to watch her succeed.

And now... here's what stage we've come to, just one day before my charming daughter turns 14. I am no longer seen as a caregiver, teacher, playmate, confidant, or cheerleader in her eyes. Nope. I am now an old hag who knows nothing about anything.

Sigh... Be quiet Mom, I can hear you laughing from here. This is payback in its finest form.


Andrea said...

Aww! The way you presented this story, I had to laugh at the 'punch line'! And don't worry - you're still all those other things, too, but now only when she wants them or desperately needs them.

Prairie Chicken said...

I won't say a word as in the echoes of the past I hear a door slamming hard enough to shake the whole huse, oh but what was that she said? "I hate you?" well, "I love you daughter!!" 14--what a marvelous age for a grandmother to watch!!

Monnik said...

Mom, I used to HATE when you yelled that "I love you, dear!" reply. I can imagine from today's perspective that your teeth were firmly gritted as you said that, and you likely didn't want to use the word 'love' either. :)

Swishy said...

Ohhhhh, I remember being that 14-year-old all too well. :)

Mom In Scrubs said...

Remember when our mothers told us, "I hope you have a daughter who is JUST LIKE YOU someday!"

I have come to regard that as a really loaded statement.

Mama P said...

Don't worry. Next year she'll add "blogger" to her description of you.